it's funny because twice this year i've started to write about things that weren't so sunshiney happy - one still sits & Drafts. both times i've come across someone that blogged something similar. today it was a post about Doing & Having It All. for me, there was just as much in the comments that rang true as there was in the post itself.
i have seriously considered just stopping this little blog altogether. i'm sporadic at best - as i found out from comments on Belinda's post so many people really are. i think that is fueled by the eternal question "why do you blog?" and i can't really answer it. i started out doing this as a way to keep my family up to date on what's going in our lives so far away from them. but really, they don't visit it anymore. i actually sat down last week & wrote my parents a letter - yes, a letter! and included a photo in it (of Cookie getting Volunteer of the Month at the Nursing Home). it felt so good to (1) write that letter and (2) mail it. people just don't do that anymore. man how my handwriting has suffered!
i don't really have anything to say, and i'm certainly not a writer on any level. the stuff i do post about is pretty "normal", nothing exciting or mark making here! i love my kitchen, but really, how much can you post about 1 remodel? the whole reason i think i've never posted a Finished Product is not so much because it's not finished, nothing ever is, but because what would i really be posting about after that?
when i started this, i think i'd said i never was any good at diaries. i cannot tell you how many of those i've had since i was a kid. i still wonder where that little orange one with the lock ended up. probably the only one i ever had any consistency with. somewhere along the lines though, and i think i know where, but i'm not willing to say, i felt like i HAD to do this thing. and i don't have to.
i wrote a post back in Feb about how i hated my job. that's putting it nicely! i mean i wrote about how i REALLY HATED MY #&*%@^! job! it was not pretty. as Belinda pointed out, sometimes you just have to type things out & never post so you can get it out of your system. that's what i did, except i posted it. then i deleted a few days later because a very good friend actually called me to talk about it. she said, "i'm worried about you because that's just not you". but it was, in that moment. and that's why i deleted it (although we know nothing is ever deleted from the internet). i understand this need to "keep it real" but i realized then that it doesn't mean "keeping it all out there" at least for me. again, not that any of my family 800+ miles away even remembers this little blog, but i would never want my daddy to read that & worry about me. it was a purge that really could have been a draft forever. so i have a few of those now.
i used to love the writing classes i took in high school & college, but know what i hate about them right now? Conclusion. i don't have one. guess i'll have to wait & see.